crush shmush

September 22, 2009

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having a crush sucks balls.

i’ve had two in my life.

in about 6th grade there he was, jonathan.

everyone knew i liked him.

everyone was eager but him.

to him i was invisible.

finally in his last year of junior high while playing basketball he walked over and asked me to hold his sweater.

i almost fainted.

i can still remember all the eyes on me.

all the girls in his class mad that maybe he did like me.

but he didn’t.

i just fed his ego in the meantime i guess.

just another  moment for him to look cool.

jonathan was interested in girls who put out.

not the ones still afraid of the dark.

in my adult life i don’t find many guys i really like.

and i don’t like to use men just because they like me.

then one day i saw him.

i thought it couldn’t be real.

he was too fine.

but as he walked closer in my direction i saw that he was very real.

for about a year i would see him.

his walk.

i wondered what his name was.

where he was going.

did he see me.

but again, i was invisible.

many women have told me they feel the same way.

the men you don’t want want you.

and the one you want doesn’t.

so i’m on my way to petco.

might as well stock up on my kitty litter and cat food now.

it’s gonna be a long menopause.

 

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